


I Will Not Disappear

by aloistrancy



Category: Naruto
Genre: Mpreg, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-26
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2017-11-27 00:42:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/656112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aloistrancy/pseuds/aloistrancy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the chunin exams when Sasuke comes back, the Hokage cares but Gaara really, really doesn't. What will happen when Sasuke says he's staying? What happens to the once perfect family they had worked so hard to create?<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I already changed the idea of this story, you might wanna re-read it.

_I don’t want to do this._

 

_I can’t do this._

 

He stared across the destroyed landscape and glanced to see the villagers, his teammates, his sensei. Everyone who was precious to him and the enemy who was the most precious of all. This wasn’t him. The creature that stood hunched over screaming the Hokage didn’t know how to pursue. He’d tried stalling and driving the monster out. He wasn’t a monster though, not to him. He was his hero and his most admired of companions how was he supposed to win this? Torn between love for your village and love for the person you’ve spent your days with. Preparing tea and teaching the importance of ramen, and most importantly raising their sons. How was he supposed to choose? He felt the tears burn his eyes and witnessed the fear in the eyes of the villagers. Even his old teammates who seemed so fearless to him shaking where they stood. Naruto wiped the tears that had fallen, he was their leader he couldn’t let them see him break. He was the best of all shinobi and he had to protect his people even if it meant destroying the one he loved. He quickly swallowed the lump of doubt in his throat before he nodded to only himself as if he were ready, he would never be ready for this.

 

He shut his eyes willing his chakra to his right hand with all the strength he could muster. He felt it flow through him and he couldn’t fight the tears this time, letting them flow freely as he opened his eyes. The face of the enemy staring at him snarling like he was a wild animal when only this morning he set down his tea, kissed their sons head and wished him luck at the training he was taking with Kakashi holding their other son on his hip. He'd sipped his tea and smiled as he sent the other off with a kiss telling Naruto to do his best today. Naruto had smiled into the kiss and told him he would as he left. He didn’t know what changed or how it was so great it caused the transformation but he had to do this to stop the final step in the transformation. For his people and his love, Gaara, who didn’t want this the Hokage knew that. They’d stayed up many a nights discussing this very outcome, how the other had said he wouldn’t hold a grudge if he had to be killed to save the village. Gaara wasn’t even from this village and he loved it, no one treated him like a monster like he didn’t matter he didn’t have to be alone here.

 

 _“I’m sorry.”_ The words fell from his lips as he began to build up his chakra, running towards the person he loved most with intent to kill. Naruto's heart twisted in so many ways, a cry escaping his lips as he grabbed at his wrist forcing his hand down as he ran. _Please I’m so sorry._

 

_“Stop!”_

 

The Hokage almost wasn’t fast enough to stop jerking his knees, probably dislocating one of them as he halted. He'd carefully opened his eyes, unsure of who had screamed.There with a head full of the blond hair he’d grown so used to. Misuki stood in front of his father kunai in hand, facing the monster that raised him.

 

“Don’t hurt him dad.” He murmured quietly as he glanced up, the Hokage felt his chakra leave his hand as he watched. He quickly stepped back trying not to stumble and he didn’t want to lose them both. The urge to grab at his son was strong but his son had his own destiny to follow. What a time to think of that.

 

“Misuki, please.” Naruto had reached out a hand ready to grab his son back to hold him to his chest like he had when he was a tiny thing.

 

“He’s my dad, I’ll fix him.” Misuki said sadly, a frown etched into his dark features inherited from Naruto. Naruto knew a kunai would do nothing against Gaara, not in the state not in his regular state. He was one of the strongest men Naruto knew. He watched as his son dropped the weapon and reached forward wrapping his arms around the sand that had formed around his father's body. “Dad, please!” He screamed loud enough even for Gaara who was lost to Shukaku.

 

Naruto watched, hands tightening into fists as he was halted, stuck on the spot as he had no choice but to watch. Watch as the clawed arm was tightened around his sons body, listened to the screaming as the sand began to crack the blood began to seep through their sons clothing where the claws had punctured. But he didn’t cry he didn’t scream he clenched his teeth willing his father to stop. The sand fell, his skin cracked as Gaara screamed loudly and pushed his son away as he collapsed to the ground. Naruto regained his movement quickly going to Gaara’s side his hands flying to the other’s face.

 

“Is Dad going to be okay?” Misuki asked quietly he’d never seen the transformation and blindly jumped into battle but Naruto was proud.

 

“The village will be safe because of you Misaki.” Naruto whispered before smiling over at his son who beamed at his fathers approval, that was all he ever wanted. Naruto watched as Misuki made his way over to the villagers; his friends, his classmates, his rivals. He saw all their faces the look of disgust and annoyance at his father who had almost destroyed the village again, Misuki hated them for that. Gaara couldn’t control Shukaku as well as he puts off, Misuki knew that. _Why can’t they understand that?_ The villagers liked Gaara, but they were already weary of what could happen.

 

Naruto let his tears drop onto Gaara’s face quickly wiping them as he reached down for him. His hands searched for something for anything to know he was going to be okay. He heard some villagers shouting _‘Lord Hokage and Naruto’_ but he didn’t care, he couldn’t move. One voice got closer until he felt a hand close around his shoulder quickly glancing back to see Sakura and Shikamaru, both with sad smiles on their faces.

 

“Come on let’s get him to the medical bay.” Sakura nodded as she got up and got onto the other side of Gaara. She knew Naruto could carry him but was worried if she let him he wouldn’t let go. She nodded towards Shikamaru who huffed in annoyance before he carefully grabbed Naruto’s shoulders. Sakura picked Gaara up and Naruto’s hands fell off of him. He scrambled to follow her with Shikamaru guiding him. The people watched their leader usually so fearless with a smile on his face always, looking so distraught as he passed and they bowed their heads. Naruto smiled at them as best he could while Sakura began to quicken her pace as more sand began to crumble. Naruto and Shikamaru quickly followed. Misuki watched ready to follow before someone grabbed his arm, Kakashi. The older man smiled down at him.

 

“He’ll be alright.” Kakashi assured. Misuki didn’t know which one he was talking about but only nodded. Sakura laid Gaara on one of the free beds in the medical wing, the rest still full from the genin from the second round of the chunin exams. Now the proctor for the final battles of the exam was here, injured, hopefully he would recover in time. Sakura was sure he would she’d seen this happen before. Worst even. When they were all taking the chunin exams for the first time, when he was injured he got back up he would this time he was stronger he had something to fight for now. Naruto was forced to wait outside, Shikamaru trying to keep him calm as Sakura tried to help.

 

“You know he’ll be alright, he’s a lot stronger than most. Think he’s not some delicate flower just because he’s your ‘woman’’ Shikamaru used air quotes trying not to get on the bad side of the Hokage. Naruto stopped being concerned for one second to roll his eyes before glancing back into the room through the window. The sand was beginning to rise back up. He sighed loudly the pain in his gut seeped away slowly as he watched each grain of sand. The Hokage finally pushed his way inside the smile returning to his face. Gaara finally cracked one black rimmed eye looking up at Naruto.

 

“I’m sorry.” They both quickly said at the same time.

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Naruto assured. Gaara nodded but knew that wasn’t the case. The villagers had finally just trusted him and that had taken almost 12 years. A smile was finally brought to Gaara’s lips when Misuki ran into the room huffing loudly as he came to his father’s side. “Thank you, Misuki.” Gaara smiled reaching a hand out to touch his son’s cheek.

 

"Where's your brother?"

 

“Are you alright?” He asked ignoring his father's question about Shion, his little brother.

 

“He’s more than alright.” Naruto smiled setting his hand down on his son’s head. Misuki nodded. Misuki remembered them both saying before the chunin exams to be safe, and now he wondered if he should give his parents the same lecture.

 

"Shion is with Tsunade." Misuki finally told them the whereabouts of their son.

 

“Misuki what are you doing here? You should be training with Kakashi sensei.” Naruto smiled, he didn’t want this to halt his son’s practice. He glanced at Gaara who just nodded with a smile on his face. Naruto watched his son train often, using both his inherited strengths of sand and leaf.

 

“It’s only a week until the finals.” Gaara murmured as their son left the room. Sakura listened, her own daughter who was on Misuki’s squad, would be fighting. “They’ll be alright.” Naruto smiled, always the positive. Gaara was far more worried, he knew the battles which his son and the others would be fighting. It made him uneasy everyday as he sent their son off in the morning to train with Kakashi, who still had it after all this time.

 

“Let’s go home.” Gaara said quickly as he got up. Naruto tried to reach out and slow him down, but he was already on his feet and heading for the door.

 

“Slow down, will you?” Naruto asked trying to catch up to the other.

 

“Worried you’ll lose me?” Gaara asked as monotone as ever. Naruto smirked as he approached behind him, one arm wrapping around Gaara’s neck as the other wrapped around his waist pulling him back. He didn’t care that he got a mouthful of hair as he buried his face into Gaara’s neck.

 

“I was really worried.”

 

“You shouldn’t have been. I had everything under control.” Gaara shrugged, his fingers ghosting over the raised veins in Naruto’s hands. Naruto just nodded, tightening his grip around the other man needing to keep him here keep him alive and by his side. 


	2. Chapter 2

Gaara was fine and the stares he kept getting were unnecessary at best. Naruto assured him he was seeing things, but he held Shion just a bit closer to him whenever he left their home. It was the morning of the final rounds Gaara was up first, or so he thought. He was mistaken when he made his way downstairs and Misuki was sitting by the door pulling his sandals on. Gaara eyed his own sand gourd that was propped against the wall. He smiled as he lifted his hand, the sand rising to his will and collecting under the boy and lifting him from the floor. Misuki barely even reacted, just glancing at his father before he continued what he was doing. Gaara stilled his hand the sand and his son falling to the ground. He smirked at the scowl he received and told his son to be sharp on his feet. He made his way over to Misuki kneeling beside him and placing a hand on his shoulder fingers pressing a little too hard.

 

“Wait for your father.” He said before getting up and making his way into the kitchen, any second now Naruto would come down the stairs with Shion in his arms. Gaara turned the kettle on, although he tried to get Naruto to eat healthy he’d state he was the Hokage and could eat ramen for breakfast all he wanted. As if on cue Naruto came barreling down the steps of their home, already dressed with Shion clinging to him like his life depended on it. Unlike Misuki, Shion had the same piercing red hair he did, and the initial reaction from people used to be fear when he was little. Not to mention his father was the shinobi of the sand that in itself called for concern, but as he grew, he became loved by all in the village, he was kind and helpful and always listened when you spoke.

 

“We’ll eat breakfast then we’ll all head to the arena.” Naruto told the rest of his family as he sat down with Shion in his lap. Gaara pulled the cereal box from its spot in the highest cupboard because ‘little children like to spill things everywhere’ as once stated in their house. Misuki huffed.

 

“I’m not hungry.” He murmured as he sat down beside his father at the table, his little brother reaching out for him with drool covered fingers. Misuki just side eyed him and cringed, he was so like Gaara sometimes it worried him.

 

“Nerves won’t keep your stomach full.” Gaara said softly setting the box on the table before getting two bowls. Naruto got up, holding Shion on his hip as he grabbed the last package of ramen from the cupboard, his groaned filling the room. Gaara rolled his eyes and went to sit across from Misuki at the table.

 

“You’ll do great, look who your father is.” He turned and saw Naruto fumbling with the ramen package as he held Shion tight. “Okay maybe not, but you’re strong Misuki and you’ll do great, the nerves won’t go away. I remember my first chunin exam, I was terrified.”

 

“You tried to kill Lee in cold blood.” Naruto chirped from where he stood.

 

“I’ll kill you in cold blood if you interrupt my speech again.” Gaara stared at his hands before glancing back up at his son, who wore a look of ‘oh god my parents are so creepy’ and Gaara understood, Naruto was odd.

 

“If it makes you feel any better, I am the proctor for the final round; I can step in if anything happens.” He smiled. Misuki nodded, colour returning to his cheeks a little at the reassurance. Naruto juggled the baby and his ramen; probably his two favourite things as he got back to the table. Shion reeached out for Gaara who smiled, he gratefully took their son in his arms.

 

“You’ll have to keep him with you.” Gaara glanced over at Naruto. “The battle arena is no place for an infant.” Shion gripped his father’s red hair in his fingers, sand automatically rising to pry the fingers, Gaara sighed.

 

“He’ll get the best seat in the house.” Naruto smiled, the three minutes finally up as he lifted the lid to the cup of ramen, the steam rising, a smile on his lips. He glanced at Misuki who was pushing his now soggy cereal around his bowl.

 

“You’re going to do great.” Naruto said without even turning to his son, they had a strong bond, Naruto always knew when something was wrong. Neither men promised that their son would become a chunin because they couldn’t. They wanted to but no one knew what the outcomes would be, or how he would fight. They spent nights awake in the last month, both men worrying over the outcome, neither knowing what would happen to their son. He rid himself of the thoughts as Shion shoved his hand into his mouth; Gaara gently pulled his hand away from his face before bringing his sleeve to his mouth to wipe away his son’s saliva. Misuki just pushed away his cereal and Naruto watched him, finally finishing his ramen. Gaara shoved his hand into the cereal box and held out the cereal to Shion who grabbed at it to quickly shove it into his mouth.

 

Misaki waited for his parents and little brother to finally come to the door -where he’d been waiting for almost ten minutes- listening to the two bickering over his little brother’s clothing. They finally emerged, Shion in Naruto’s arms. Gaara was ahead, placing a hand on Misuki’s shoulder as he opened the front door. Misuki felt the nerves coming now, worse than ever, his father kept his head down with a smile on his lips. Naruto watched from behind, with Shion in his arms, the villagers greeting him, only giving Gaara a weary look. He deserved it he knew that but it still bothered him. Naruto finally kept the same walking pace as both Misuki and Gaara, smiling as he walked beside his son. Gaara glanced around, spotting several guards watching them from the rooftops.

 

The stadium came into view, the doors not yet open, waiting for the Hokage. The spectators all separating so Naruto and his family could walk through, Misuki cringed at all the people, great just what he needed. Gaara didn’t like it either. After the cheering for Naruto died down it was all those same weary looks, like he would just attack them now. Naruto was proud, although the three other members of his family hated the cheering; he loved it, these people respected him, all he ever wanted had come true. Naruto stopped when he knew Gaara and Misuki would be going in at the lower level doors, while he and Shion went up to sit and watch. He turned to Gaara and Misuki who were already stopped. He smiled as he set his hand on his sons head.

 

“You’ll do great.” He murmured. “You’ll make us proud no matter what.”

 

Gaara smiled at the two as he got the ‘be safe’ lecture from Naruto, rolling his eyes before leaning to press a kiss to Shion’s head and Naruto’s mouth.

 

“I’ll be fine.” He whispered against the other's mouth before pulling away and letting his hand fall on Misuki’s shoulder. “Come on.” He smiled as two sets of doors opened, Gaara and Misuki heading into one, Naruto and Shion heading into the other. Naruto took one last glance at the pair before turning on the smile. Gaara walked beside Misuki until they were in the middle of the arena, people started filling in the spectator seats.

 

“Stand tall Misuki.” He told him as the other competitors came over to them, some looking nervous others looking smug. Gaara knew the feeling. Misuki perked up a little when his teammate Aiko Haruno made her way over to him, she looked equally as nervous but kept a smile on her face. Next in were the sand village ninjas and Gaara physically tensed at the symbol on their headbands. The Nara boy made his way in, as well as the Akemi son, Gaara knew all the contenders from the leaf village. He waited as all 8 ninja made their way into the arena. The spectators had already begun cheering, he glanced up to where Naruto sat with the Kazekage, and everything looked so familiar.

 

“Thank you all for coming!” Naruto started as he stood up, Shion still in his arms. “Welcome to the chunin exams, please don’t leave until all matches are over, enjoy.”

 

Gaara turned to the contenders that stood in a line.

 

“Now these matches are to the death unless one of you admits defeat, or I think it necessary to intervene. There are no rules, everyone who is not partaking in the first battle head up there.” He pointed to the lower level where they all looked.

 

“The first match is Aiko Haruno and Chiyoko Etsuko.” He read off the paper he had received from Neji who was the proctor of the third round of matches. Gaara watched as the others left, leaving the leaf and sand ninja squaring off already, Gaara made his way to the side, just watching.

 

“Begin!” His voice boomed echoing throughout the arena. He took his eyes off the two squaring off to glance at Misuki, his fingers wrapped around the bars as he watched his friend down below. The sand ninja was much older and Gaara had wondered how Neji decided this match up as he watched Aiko be brought to the ground, already, the ninja of the sand using nothing but sheer strength as he stepped onto her back and pulled both her arms back. Gaara watched as her face contorted in pain, his fingers itched as he wanted to do something and he finally did when he heard a loud crack. He quickly collected sand and pushed the other ninja away, medics from the doorway coming in as Gaara kneeled beside her, tears in her eyes as he shook his head before getting up.

 

“The winner is Chiyoko Etsuko!” He declared to the people. He looked out into the crowd and he spotted Sakura and Ino quickly running down the side stairs. Aiko was lifted away, Gaara raising two fingers to motion for the next too fighters. His son and a fellow ninja from the leaf Hideki Lee, the son of the boy he destroyed when he’d taken the same exams. His heart beat too fast as his son approached, he didn’t show any emotion, there wasn’t time for that now. He nodded to both boys before stepping out of the way and glancing up at Naruto who couldn’t hide his emotions too well as he leaned against the bars. Shion watching with his mouth open before putting his fingers into it. Gaara would have smiled if he hadn’t glanced back to his son, looking so small like he needed to be wrapped in his father’s arms. He stepped back to allow the battle to begin and he couldn’t keep his eyes off his son, watching every move he used, the ones Naruto and Kakashi both taught him. He finally took his eyes off the match only to have them fall upon a member of the ANBU Black Ops, not again, please not again, he glanced around for more. There were even less here than when he partook in the chunin exams. The sand formed around him and he disappeared from the arena floor to appear beside the Hokage. He glanced around, concern on his face as he spotted a dark figure just above the stadium.

 

“Lord Hokage.” He addressed him as he glanced around. “Something’s not right.”

 

“I know.” Naruto murmured. The battle below didn’t stop but Gaara wished it would, he needed to direct his attention else where. He saw the figure again and Naruto just waved him off, he had to listen to orders from the Hokage.

 

Down below Misuki used the Shadow Clone Jutsu his father taught him all of them running for Hideki in different directions. He heard the people in the crowd cheer for him as he landed a punch on the other boys jaw his head swinging to the side from the force. He was almost out of chakra but Hideki seemed to have an endless amount.

 

Gaara watched worriedly before he glanced to the entrance where a figure stood. He shook his head and closed his eyes but the figure was still there when he opened them. He didn’t care he needed to figure out what this person wanted and he started walking to the edges of the battle arena as he approached and the figure became clearer. There were two, a smaller one, just a boy and a man. He knew who it was and he felt a snarl rip from Shukaku’s lips it pulsed through his body, hands flying up to grab his hair. Fingers threaded through blood red strands. Gaara lied every time he claimed to have control of this.

 

“What are you doing here?” Gaara asked, the shake in his voice _not_ from nerves.

 

“I’ve come to see the Hokage.” The man told him, a smirk on his lips.

 

“In case you were unaware-“He started, fingers dropped from his hair. “He’s a little busy.”

 

“I’m sure he can make time for me.” He was so cocky Gaara wanted to strangle him the sand began to rise around his feet, by instinct to kill alone.

 

“He has no time for _you_ anymore Sasuke.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to everyone who's reading.  
> enjoy xo.

Gaara’s heart twisted in a way he only remembers when he was in that dark lonely place so many years ago _before_ Naruto. When he lived in fear everyday someone was ordered to kill him, fear that he would never be loved. He remembered how awful it was and how his heart clenched at the thought of companions people who could learn to care for him. He would never be that person again not so long as his family was still alive. Only then would he destroy this world, bring it to its knees for taking what he loved but this person who stood in front of him, with a son with the oddest blue eyes, he could if he tried. This one person could ruin everything Gaara had fought for, all of it by a few simple words.

 

Gaara heard gasps and he was torn from the thoughts as he glanced to the battlefield both boys on the ground, still. Gaara glanced back and the man and little boy were walking away. For good he could only hope. His sand collected as he appeared in front of the boys both face down. He had a small frown on his lips before he saw Misuki heaving, lifting himself up on his elbows pulling himself up to a shaky stand his face scratched with many bruises were beginning to form. A lopsided smile appeared on his lips as he faced the crowd who began cheering loudly. Gaara smiled but could do little else, he looked to the Hokage who was on his feet. The medical ninja made their way over to assist Hideki. Gaara knew the other boy would be alright he had just drained his chakra. Misuki reached out and stumbled to grab onto his father Gaara reached out and steadied his son who had begun to waver on his feet. 

 

“I am proud.” He whispered quietly. The boys’ seemingly tired eyes perked up, the smile growing. Misuki didn’t care that there were hundreds of spectators he reached forward and wrapped his arms around his father’s waist. Gaara couldn’t help it either and he’d be damned if he was going to get the _‘shinobi don’t show emotion’_ speech this was his son. He wrapped his arms tightly around him the pride swelling over taking the previous swell of anger and blood lust.

 

“Will you be strong enough or does Kakashi have to come and retrieve you?” Gaara asked. Misuki shook his head and dropped his arms.

 

“Who _was_ that guy?” Misuki asked quietly glancing over to the open doors then back to his father who had visibly tensed.

 

“No one, get moving the next battle is to begin.” He scowled at his son before looking into the crowd. The next two contenders were of the sand village Kenta Masaru and Rokuro Sho. Gaara called both names, he could no longer stay focused his gaze continued to fall onto Misuki who was now beside Kakashi and then to Shion, he was worried for them for all of them. The arrival of Sasuke meant way too many things that he couldn’t deal with right about now not while he had so much going on. Gaara stayed where he was as the two ninjas made their way down. Gaara was in a haze, vision glazed as his body moved on its own accord. He couldn’t even react when he heard the boy on the floor scream. He lifted his hand the sand collecting and forming around the screaming figure on the ground.

 

“Stop.” He ordered as he approached. The other backing off as he did, the boy on the floor was bleeding profusely. Gaara motioned for the next set of medical ninjas to come over he wouldn’t make it if this continued. The sand around him fell and collected. Gaara stepped back to get out of their way. He felt sick at the sight of this boys blood, he hated seeing such a sight because this wasn’t what this was all about, although people felt it was. He always questioned when someone would say _“this is the way of the shinobi”_ he remembers when he himself believed bloodshed was all there was to it. Now he despised the sight of it. He felt the long reign of peace their village had been experiencing would soon come to an end.

 

“This match has been won!” He shouted to the crowd whose screams had filled the entire arena. The very last match was between Suzume Nara, Shikamaru’s son and a single ninja from the sound village named Yamato Asuka.

 

**_‘He’s back to take what’s ours’_ **

 

Gaara’s eyes widened at the voice in his head. No not now. This couldn’t happen now. Gaara’s hand flew up tangling in red hair as he tugged, his head dropped forward. He stumbled back before he felt someone touch his shoulder to hold him still. He turned and saw the last person he’d ever expect, Neji a look of concern on his usually expressionless face.

 

“Go, I can take care of this.” He murmured to Gaara who only nodded.

 

**_'He’s returned to take what is ours.'_ **

 

Gaara grit his teeth as the voice echoed in his head. _Not now, not here_. Gaara had always claimed to have control over Shukaku only to keep the villagers and Naruto at ease. He was barely holding on by a thread almost always getting lost, _losing it._ He lost his grip every day and with the arrival of him it would only get worse, he had to get out of here. Gaara ran towards the doors scared to use his sand although if he lost his grip on Shukaku he wouldn’t have control over it anyways. He could breathe again when he was just outside the arena doors.

 

“Are you alright Gaara?” One of the guards who stood at the doors asked. Gaara just waved him off before making his way down the road. He brought his hand up to rest on the tattoo above his eye, fingers brushing across it.

 

**_'You’re going to kill him.'_ **

 

Gaara hated the monsters voice, vicious and cunningly always sending shivers up his spine.

 

“No I won’t.” He muttered thankfully everyone was in the arena and not around to see him talk to himself as if he were insane.

 

_**'We will taste his blood and like it, you will remember how good it feels to take someone’s life, you will remember life before that dreaded fox and those brats he forced upon you.'** _

 

“He did no such thing.” He kept his voice low. He felt Shukaku’s pulse pick up, his blood boil. Gaara stopped, closing his eyes and rubbing his palms to his eyelids.

 

“I will not put this village in danger again.” He growled quietly mostly to Shukaku. He opened his eyes, his own chakra over powering Shukaku’s for now.

 

_**'He will not leave this village; he will claim it was his before it was yours.'** _

 

“It was.” Gaara told him. Gaara said nothing more as he made his way to his home somewhere he could hide. He hated feeling weak something he rarely felt but when Shukaku threatened his very being, and the lives of the villagers he felt extremely weak like he would fail. He couldn’t risk it all; the village, the people, Naruto and his children he wouldn’t put them in danger for something he couldn’t control. But he couldn’t leave he couldn’t return home and leave everything he’d created here behind.

 

Hours later Naruto arrived with Shion to their home he’d started worrying when Gaara hadn’t returned within the hour of leaving assuming he just had to do something. Misuki made his way home the injuries from battle looked much worse than they were. He knew how much Naruto worried about Gaara, he was old enough to understand what Shukaku was and how he wasn’t caged like Kurama was. When he got inside he heard his parents fighting which was one of the most unlikely things Misuki had ever come home to.

 

“You _need_ to make him leave.” Gaara tried not to yell.

 

“Make him leave? Are you insane?” Naruto didn’t mind yelling. Gaara stared at him, annoyance painting his features. He shook his head fists clenching, teeth gritting. He couldn’t understand Naruto at all.

 

“Is he _so_ important to you?” Gaara asked crossing his arms.

 

“ _Yes._ ” Naruto muttered before pushing past Gaara who glared after him.

 

Misaki waited until after his father left the house, the front door slamming to come out of the place he was hiding.

 

“What was that about?” He asked.

 

“Nothing important.” Gaara murmured as he forced on a smile for his son. “I have to go check on your brother.” He quickly made for the stairs and up to his youngest sons room. He didn’t know what to do how was he to win against him? He made his way into the nursery; Shion wasn’t sleeping probably awoken by Naruto’s shouting.

 

“Shion.” Gaara smiled as he approached the boys crib. He reached down to the little boy who made grabbing hands at him and picked him up. “I won’t let him wreck this.”

 

“Dad?” Misuki stood in the doorway. “He won’t leave right?”

 

“He’ll have no reason to after I’m finished.” Gaara turned to smile at him. “Here, watch your little brother don’t leave the house.”

 

He pressed a kiss to Shion’s head as he approached Misuki who took his little brother into his arms. Gaara brushed the hair from Misuki’s forehead and brushed his lips against his skin before stepping around him and into the hallway.

 

“I’ll be home soon.” He murmured as he made his way downstairs. He was seeing red, nothing else, not reason, not logic he had one thought on his mind and it was to kill the one person who was here to ruin everything, ruin the life he’d built, the memories he created he was here to take it all from him and thrust him into loneliness once again, but he couldn’t go back to that he swore to himself he wouldn’t he was going to do what he should have years ago, kill Sasuke Uchiha.


	4. Chapter 4

_Fingers shook._

_Breath hitched._

_Bloodlust rampant._

 

Gaara stalked through the village his blood boiling the villagers who greeted him with warm hellos were brushed off and ignored. He needed to sink his fingers in flesh pull him apart. Shukaku’s heart pounded Gaara’s rage triggered the transformation and he didn’t care the sand beginning to collect to his arm he needed to find him. A laugh escaped his lips when he spotted the raven haired man, not surprisingly along side a blonde the boy with them as well. It made Gaara more upset they were playing some sick version of house. He was quiet somehow not letting a sound rip itself from his lungs all the rage _begging_ him to just shout. Gaara watched from the surrounding trees he stayed crouched as he listened in on the conversation.

 

“I love him too you know, it is possible.” Naruto murmured. He loves you _too._ Gaara’s fist clenched as he listened his nails digging into the soft flesh of his palm. He watched the little boy, who was in awe of Naruto it seemed staring up at him his mouth open it only fueled the fire that was swallowing Gaara. The growl ripped through his lips as the first step of the transformation was complete jumping down from the tree and landing on his hands and feet before the clawed arm reached out for Sasuke fingers wrapping around his torso, claws digging in. He smiled at the gasp the sounds of struggle the shout from Naruto the cry from the little boy’s lips as his father was lifted in Gaara’s grasp.

 

“Gaara _what_ are you doing?!” Naruto shouted at him.

 

“What I should have done…” He growled, voice changing. “When we were just children on that battlefield I should have killed him.”

 

“You can’t!” He all but screamed.

 

“I can, because you can’t leave me for him you can’t leave our sons for him.” Gaara continued to shake his head the sand crumbling as his fingers shot up to tug. He stumbled back the force of Shukaku’s rage shuttering through him. He listened as Sasuke hit the ground the sound alone satisfying Shukaku for a moment.

 

“I’m not leaving you!” Naruto shouted as he made his way to Sasuke’s side, fingers sliding to hold him up. Gaara all but growled.

 

_Run._

_Leave._

_Run._

 

Gaara couldn’t kill Sasuke if Naruto was in the way Gaara could fix this other ways. He smiled as he raised his hand his body now facing the boy. He didn’t care that this boy was innocent, or a child he wanted him dead the closest thing to Sasuke Uchiha he smiled as the sand rose around the boy, collecting from the earth. Gaara closed his hand as he whispered the words, the sand bending to his will closing around the boy. He didn’t even have a chance to blink before Naruto had him pinned to the ground the sand falling the boy crying.

 

“What happened?!” Naruto screamed as he hovered over Gaara.

 

“Him.” Gaara murmured, eyes wet with tears he tried to will them back. “I’ll take our children, I’ll leave.”

 

“You hurt an innocent child for something Sasuke didn’t even do!” He cried, voice already sounding horse.

 

“You said you love me too.” Gaara whispered. “You love Sasuke.”

 

“No. That’s not what I meant.” He grit his teeth as he glared at the man underneath him.

 

“Yes it is!” Gaara shouted sending Naruto flying back as his hand slammed into his chest.

 

The smile that painted his face was not of love or concern it was pure evil, like the smile he used to wear when his purpose was to kill everyone until he was the last on earth, the greatest shinobi. He both despised and loved the feeling that was flowing through his veins. It felt as though his heart was breaking, Naruto was defending his former love what else was Gaara to think? Perhaps their children meant nothing their life they built here meant nothing to him but how could that be possible? He wouldn’t just start a life to wait for his old one. Gaara's shoulders stiffened at the thought, his breathing growing rapid.

 

“You should choose _now_.” Gaara growled his fingers tightened into a fist they began to shake as Naruto hesitated. “You have two sons in case you have forgotten, because they haven’t.

 

“Am I no longer precious to you?” His eyes shone with tears. Just the word triggered thoughts, painful memories he didn’t want to relive.

 

_What am I?_

 

The images played through his head on a constant loop.

 

_Freak._

“That’s not it.” Naruto murmured Gaara wasn’t watching him, his eyes landed upon the little boy who finally got up the bruises starting to form on his arms as he ran to Sasuke who was sitting up watching with a hopeful look in his eyes Naruto was going to choose him. The thoughts of killing him multiplied and then disappeared at one word.

 

“Dad?” Gaara turned quickly Misuki stood with Shion in his arms the baby reaching arms out to Gaara hands opening and closing as he used actions for words. Gaara was already on defense at the thought of Sasuke near his children. He quickly turned and walked towards them before kneeling to the floor a hand reaching out to touch Misuki’s shoulder a smile on his lips as Shion put three pats on his cheek before putting the hand into his own mouth something he did often. Gaara sighed loudly before standing up he had to make a choice even if Naruto wouldn’t.

 

“What are you doing here? I told you to stay inside.” Gaara murmured trying to sound authoritative only managing to sound defeated he shook his head trying without cause to get the tears to stop forming and filling his eyes.

 

“You didn’t sound okay.” Misuki looked up at him then over to Naruto then to the two behind him. “Is that the guy?”

 

“Which guy?” Gaara asked, head tilting automatically.

 

“The one dad was talking to Sakura about.” He glanced back at Gaara noticing the tears forming his father rarely cried in front of him. Gaara stiffened before turning to face Naruto a glare painting his face as he shook his head, no words could form his disgust and anger. He turned back to his children before reaching down for Shion.

 

“Dad!” Misuki screamed before the sand shot up acting as a barrier for the attack Sasuke had tried and failed to inflict on him. Gaara’s fingers tightened around his youngest as he pulled Misuki by his shirt closer he needed to protect them both even if Naruto wouldn’t.

 

“Gaara!” It was Naruto’s voice and for some reason it surprised Gaara. He wasn’t going to back down now not when the lives of his children were at stake. He glanced to see Naruto behind him, something in his eyes he couldn’t name.

 

“You may not choose me but you have to choose them!” Gaara shouted before raising his free hand the barrier of sand acting on instinct to protect Gaara. The sand he created from the Earth rising. “I suggest you leave, Uchiha before I end you.”

 

Gaara felt a hand on his side glancing down the tattered hand of Naruto resting there. The fingers applied pressure on the tips.

 

“I can make him stop, don’t do this.” Naruto said quietly. “Sasuke!” He shouted quickly before the hand was off Gaara’s side he couldn’t even have the chance to blink before Naruto was in front of the wall of sand his hands on Sasuke’s shoulders pushing him back. The sand fell as the threat was forced back he felt Misuki’s fingers grip at his coat. Shion had his face buried in Gaara’s neck hiding from the chaos. He watched Naruto continue to push the Uchiha back, the little boy watching from the side eyes wide.

 

_Don’t._

_Do._

_This._

 

Gaara watched their movements stop watched Sasuke’s eyes full of hate dull down to numbness and slip shut as Naruto pressed their mouths together. Gaara rarely ever let shock over take him but as his mouth fell open he couldn’t change what people saw.

 

“What?” Misuki asked the tremble in his voice evident.

 

“He made his choice and it wasn’t us.” Gaara muttered gently plucking Misuki’s fingers from his coat before motioning to the forest his son nodded understanding as Gaara quickly turned holding Shion close as they took off into the forest he couldn’t be upset not in front of them.

 

“Dad what’s going on?” Misuki finally asked after too many moments of silence.

 

“That was Sasuke Uchiha you know the one your father spoke to Sakura about always speaking so highly of him although he left, and he joined the Akatsuki.”

 

“Dad loves him more than us.” Misuki didn’t ask.

 

“We’re going home.” Gaara told him as they stopped in front of their house, it wasn’t their home anymore.

 

“Home?” Misuki asked as he slowed down.

 

_“Sunagakure.”_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello

Gaara left the boys to sit in the kitchen as he packed their things the tears blurring his vision every so often he has to quickly brush them from his cheeks to get anything done. They couldn't bring much and the journey would take three days he wondered how his sons would do it. If they could do it. It didn't matter now he had to get them away from here. He held the bag he was going to have Misuki hold and pushed off the doorframe before heading down the stairs where the other bags sat. He heard the front door open, and glanced towards it the sand rising automatically on defense.

 

_Naruto._

 

Why did he expect anyone else?

 

Misuki was turned in his chair Shion in his arms eyes wide as he stared. Gaara quickly crossed the room to stand in front of his children. He didn’t speak a word just stared at Naruto what did the blonde man think he could say to solve this? He had destroyed his family in just a press of lips. Gaara didn’t dare open his mouth what would he say? Would he scold the other man? Or simply just kill him in front of their children.

 

“Nothing you can say will fix this.” Gaara finally broke the silence.

 

“He saved me.” Naruto tried to explain. “He used to be important to me, he isn’t anymore that kiss meant nothing it was just to keep our children safe!”

 

Gaara laughed, rather bitterly.

 

“Your excuses mean nothing to me Naruto you left us you had no intention of making him leave and you still don’t, even now after you and he ruined my family.” He smiled although he was about to cry. Naruto stared at him and then glanced to his sons Shion had no idea what was going on but he was scared and had his face buried in Misuki’s neck who looked unbelievably disappointed and Naruto hated that. He glanced to the floor and saw the bags sitting there;

 

_Oh._

_God._

_No._

 

“Where are you going?” Naruto asked, now panicking.

 

“I’m taking Misuki and Shion to the land of the wind.” Gaara kept his expression blank. “You can live the life you always wanted.”

 

“Gaara do- don’t do this, this life is all I’ve wanted me you and our children this house this village _this is it!_ ” He cried out. “I only kissed him so he would stop the attack on Misuki and Shion!”

 

“He’s going to want to be in your life, that boy with him he is yours.” Gaara stared at him smiling sadly now.

 

“He won’t change us, Gaara.” Naruto wondered why Shukaku wasn’t making an appearance perhaps Gaara was waiting for the right time. Gaara nodded although he knew Sasuke would change everything. He set the bag down and walked over to where Misuki was sitting with Shion in his arms. He reached down and pressed a kiss to both the boys’ heads before whispering for Misuki to take Shion and go to his room. Misuki nodded and carried his little brother up the stairs not looking back once.

 

“You and I both know that’s a lie, you love him and he loves you.” Gaara hated to admit it but he couldn’t pretend it wasn’t true.

 

Naruto stayed silent and that was conformation enough, Gaara just sighed and grabbed the bags to head back upstairs with. He set his own into his room and carried the boys’ to their room he smiled as he saw the two sitting on the floor playing with their toys.

 

“Both our daddies will be okay.” Gaara heard Misuki whisper to his little brother who just stared up at him with a smile on his face.

 

“I am very proud of your fighting Misuki.” Gaara spoke up as he put their clothes back into the drawers.

 

“Thanks Dad.” He murmured.

 

“Your father is proud too.” Gaara reminded him.

 

“He has another son; he’s going to like him more than us.”

 

Gaara clenched his teeth, that one sentence made him so unbelievably mad he couldn’t bare it.

 

“He will not replace you my love, I promise.”

 

He didn’t even believe himself as he said the words.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi im alive

It wasn't easier when Naruto left the house void of his obnoxious happy tone and replaced with a nervous silent one. Despite Gaara's best efforts to keep his sons happy and despite their efforts to smile it was no use. It was no private affair -what happened between Gaara and Naruto the entire village knew quickly once Naruto had moved from their house and word didn't fail to travel back to Gaara about him taking up with Sasuke. Despite most of the village still despising him. And that left Gaara with nothing here he could easily take his children and leave but he figured that'd only make it worse taking them from their father and forcing them to be in a place they did not call home. The blessing came in the form of a calling to the Hokage's office, not that action itself which meant coming face to face with Naruto but what the letter received from Sunagakure detailed. Demanding Gaara's return to fulfill the role of Kazekage. He stood in Naruto's office the blonde looked tired and upset as he read out the letter to Gaara who could only grin despite himself. He let his face drop back to a serious demeandor as the letter had been read. Gaara was pleased Naruto didn't look happy he didn't deserve to be. Silence filled the office as Gaara stared at Naruto and the blonde stared back, he couldn't say no that was his home.

 

"I'm taking our sons." Gaara said finally the silence eating at his mind a little too much for his liking. While he was worried how they'd settle Gaara wouldn't dare leave them here. The red head watched Naruto's face contort which made no sense to him since he had hardly made an effort to see his children since leaving their home, which now felt more like a house. The village felt too cold for Gaara the people only pitied him -they did not see him as a leaf village member and some made it clear to him.

 

"Gaara." Naruto started as he got up from his desk. Gaara didn't move standing firmly in place as he watched the other approach. The blonde looked distraught as he stood in front of his former love, his eyes boring into Gaara's own. "You can't go -the boys...this is their home." If this was his attempt to guilt Gaara he was going to have to do much worse. The redhead steeled himself to any attempts of this because he knew the other and he knew his tactics. Gaara wasn't going to back down, he'd been in the shadows for too long and now it was his time.

 

"My sons home is wherever _I_ am." Gaara said slowly before smiling as he took the letter from Naruto's grip, the paper felt so light in his hand the entire thing that would change his life was this almost weightless piece of paper. He now had purpose to leave and take his sons with him. He left the Hokage's office his freedom in one hand though he had only imprisoned himself it seemed, he was always free to go he just thought he couldn't maybe he was a sadist in that way wanting himself to see Naruto with someone else so he could stay upset. But he didn't want to live like that anymore and he hoped the new surroundings would help his boys, Shion and Misuki who had been nothing but innocent bystanders in this entire thing. They'd get to see their aunt and uncle and live in a village that Gaara would oversee. He remembers growing up there how awful it was how awful the people were always scared of him. He knew it would be different he would protect them he would be their leader and his sons wouldn't be treated the way he was.

 

The trip would be long and well worth it over three days of travel with breaks he knew his children would need, most likely staying somewhere each night. Gaara started packing the minute he arrived home. He had to pick Shion up from the neighbours, a lovely lady who loved his boys and he would hate having to tell her they were leaving but he hoped she'd understand not that her opinion would sway his decision he just didn't want to leave on bad terms since she'd helped him so much since Naruto had left. He packed light knowing he and Misuki would have to carry everything, Shion could hardly walk yet let alone carry bags of theirs. He set the bags by the door deja vu hitting him hard because he'd already packed his families bags once and hadn't left but now, he would as he felt for the letter in his breast pocket. Gaara stepped outside the short walk to the neighbors felt good like this was one last journey before they could start their new lives. They were on such familiars terms he didn't even have to knock, slipping inside the front door of the small flat. He called out quietly to alert that he was here before spotting the old woman with Shion sleeping in her arms in the back garden.

 

"Hello." He said politely as he'd stepped through the threshold of the back door. She turned to him and smiled, before glancing at him eyes trailing over him as her smile slipped into a frown. She pressed a small kiss to Shion's head before stepping closer and shifting the sleeping baby into Gaara's awaiting arms. The redhead smiled down at his son, his child was a work of art both of them were and Gaara held them in the highest of regards.

 

"You're leaving." Was all she had said and Gaara couldn't help but frown as he nodded. "With good reason, I assume." She stared at him with a knowing look like maybe he was doing the right thing and he felt appreciation bloom across his chest and heat his stomach.

 

"Suna needs me, I'm going to be Kazekage." He said slowly with a smile as she stepped closer to him and kissed his forehead.

 

"You will be great, you'll be what they need. Your boys are lucky to have you." She smiled as she dropped another kiss to Shion's head.

 

"I'm lucky to have them too." Gaara told her with a smile as he ran his finger along Shion's soft cheek. They didn't say goodbye because this wasn't goodbye he'd promised to come see her again and he would -sometime in the future when he had things figured out. He left her house with a smile and the promise of return since someone here did care about him.

 

Gaara and Shion waited the couple of hours for Misuki to be finished at the academy by playing in the garden they did it often most days really. The sound of the front door shutting alerted Gaara to Misuki's arrival who was in tears as he came through the door. Gaara came through the house and met his son in the kitchen Shion babbling as he reached out for his brother who sat himself at the table. Before Gaara could even ask what was wrong Misuki was spewing what was.

 

"Akihiko Uchiha." He said letting out a shaky breath and Gaara steeled himself before crouching in front of Misuki Shion still held on his hip as he reached a hand out to brush along his sons cheek, thumb wiping the tears from his eyes. "He rubbed it in my face today that dad loves him more."

 

Gaara sighed and pressed a kiss to his sons forehead. "We're leaving for Suna, you won't have to worry about him." He didn't like that it seemed as if they were running away or giving up Gaara and his sons were not quitters they just needed something else for now. Being here wasn't good for them. "And you don't have to worry about Naruto either." Gaara said quietly as he stood up more determined than ever to get his sons and himself out of this village. Misuki calmed down quickly after that, smiling at Gaara's words and nodding when Gaara asked if he was ready to start their journey. Misuki agreed happily and Shion tried to put his hand in Gaara's mouth which was a pretty clear indication. Gaara had tied a tight sling around himself, able to carry Shion and their bags not to mention the sand could do some work.

 

They didn't leave down the main street not wanting to make a show of their departure instead sticking to the pathways that led to the gates of Konaha. The trio approached slowly Gaara making his sand lift Misuki only to see him smile as Shion slept soundly Gaara was grateful his child could sleep so soundly it would make the trip go by much quicker for him. He was halted for a moment just at the gate when he spotted the Hokage standing there Misuki stayed close to Gaara's side as the red head kept his gaze ahead.

 

"Misuki." Gaara heard Naruto call and he stilled before turning to him. Misuki just shook his head tugging on Gaara's jacket. The redhead knew what that meant making eye contact with Naruto before shaking his head as he led his son towards the path -that would take them out of the village and to their house that they would turn into a home.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello

The trip was hard and filled with tears from both of Gaara's sons and Gaara himself when he was safely alone in the room of an inn after his children had gone to sleep. It was painful leaving their life behind but the red head knew they had to he'd spent so much of his life in toxic situations he knew what was best for his sons albeit a little selfishly but he wanted them safe and cared for and in a village that looked down upon them for being the sons of a former leaf village threat wouldn't allow that. _"I won't let anyone hurt them."_ The words rung out through Gaara's head the entire night, watching over his sleeping children while fighting horrible flash backs to _that_ fight the one when Naruto had taught him how important it was to take care of your friends and yet here they were. His sons should be safely tucked in their beds in their home but Gaara didn't know where home was now so they lay on borrowed sheets of an inn. Gaara couldn't let his mind wander any further knowing what little sleep he got would tie him over until sunrise until they could continue their journey to Suna. True to it's word the sun did rise despite the redhead's belief today would be the day it wouldn't -perhaps it was falling apart and cracking under the pressure like Gaara was, the future leader kept his face calm smiling as he quietly attempted to wake Misuki. Who remained to this day like Naruto as he slept like a rock unlike Shion who was always up and tucked to his father's side in the early morning of the hours when Gaara used to bring him back to bed with himself and Naruto and his baby would be tucked between them in the sheets seemingly the most content in his life. Gaara couldn't think of times like that the once stone faced angry child could be easily brought to tears these days and he would always blame it on Naruto which now in a childish bitter way felt good.

 

"Daddy when will we get there?" Misuki asked quietly as he started to dress Gaara watched him tie the leaf village headband to his forehead with some muted sense of determination and the man had to look away for fear the burning behind his eyes might make itself known to his children for whom he had to be strong in front of _always._ Always doing everything for them because he brought them into this world to be loved and cared for like his mother had sub consciously taught him. Gaara bent down as Shion clung tightly to his neck and pressed a kiss to the leaf symbol adorning his sons forehead.

 

"Soon my love, before sunset today we will be in the land of the Wind. You'll see Temari the great Kazekage." He smiled fondly thinking of his older sisters accomplishments and wondering why on this great Earth she'd want to hand that title over he'd soon learn what was ailing the great leader. Kankuro was the general of the current army which mostly consisted of training and mock battles since there was no threat of war. Gaara knew plenty about Suna despite not living there for the last twelve years he was still in contact with his siblings and a former student of his. The land of the wind was thriving and the former demon of the sand would return home to something close to a welcoming. The trio packed what little belongings they shared among them and started the journey out of the small village they took refuge in for the night. Trees gave way and barren dessert started to be the dominant image of scenery, Misuki voicing his dislike for the humidity because nothing was worse than pre-teen angst in a desert -truly.

 

After hours they'd come to Sunakagaru the tall walls surrounding the village caused the corners of Gaara's mouth to turn up, threatening to turn into a smile when he saw Kankuro and Temari waiting for them, tears burned his eyes because this was where they belonged. Shion lifted his head, blood red tuffs of hair stuck up in all directions as he let out a delighted sound at the sight of Kankuro who always let the baby play with The Crow, who wasn't used in battle anymore now just a toy- albeit a creepy looking one for Gaara's son. Misuki did the same with Temari, she was always giving him determining speeches about greatness and who his father was and how he could live in his legacy or create his own. Gaara handed Shion over and smiled as he watched his sons with his siblings and this felt like family, this felt good enough to bring Gaara to tears and he used the palm of his hand to press to the corner of his eye before Temari grinned at him.

 

"Hello little brother, welcome home." She smiled wide, off white teeth stark against her naturally dark skin made darker from days in the sun. Kankuro shared the same grin as he pressed a kiss to Shion's head.

 

"Hello Kazekage." Gaara had finally grinned back before he was swatted upside the head and Temari led them through the village, the villagers all happy to see their great leader eyes shining as they fell upon Gaara the once feared child who was now reserved in the highest order. This wasn't about pride for the red haired man this was about acceptance being able to live somewhere where he felt safe, where his sons didn't need to live in fear of a past blood tainted legacy Gaara had made for himself. Regret filled him for the early years of his life but he'd known nothing else, nothing of love and friendship and that's how he'd taught himself to be protected, don't love anyone for it is a weakness. Save love for yourself because no one else was going to love Gaara, not with Shukaku inside him. He had become a great Shinobi strong enough to control and bend Shukaku to his will if he needed to, but the great demon of the sand stay dormant in him without all of the anger and bitter revenge he once carried within.

 

They were led to the Kazekage's quarters, the structure in the center of the village the lifeline of all the people here despite the organs beating in their chests. He needed to find out why Temari was so adamant on handing the title over, as it made no sense to Gaara. In a very subtle display Kankuro offered to take the children to the only source of water in the land of the wind, a waterfall that flow through the village. Gaara only nodded as he was led by Temari to her office, papers stacked high on her desk and the redhead could only watch in silence before his sister cleared her throat eyes cast upon the open window.

 

"I am dying." She simply said quietly before her eyes met Gaara's, who was so acquainted with death but this -this was his sister who despite everything was always his biggest advocate in keeping him safe to keep him from changing. It felt like the air had been sucked from him, leaving him dry and empty as he watched her and despite their coldness towards one another in their younger years he filled the space between them and gathered her in his arms. "They say a few months now but I can't risk this village, I love it too much." Her voice was hoarse as she pressed her face into Gaara's neck, a mouthful of sun bleached hair pressed to his cheek. "But I still find myself loving Shikamaru more."  
And that- he wasn't expecting that, his fingers stilled around her before he pulled back to look at her face, a non existent brow raising in question at the statement and it had her blushing. "I've loved him all these years and I am dying." She said quietly as tears threatened her eyes, Gaara's own betraying him as he tucked her head back to his neck. Gaara was used to Temari calling Shikamaru and Mr. Cry Baby, but loving him? That was new but he knew she was determined and he wouldn't hold her back.  
"Then go to him, be with him while you can." Gaara said quietly and he heard her gasp, perhaps he was the one who had gone soft. The red haired man felt his sister take one of his arms from around her shoulders and pressed it to her stomach, he shook his head as he glanced up at her with wide eyes and she only nodded in response. "A little one? Will you make it?" He asked quietly, he wondered momentarily if that was morbid of him to ask but he needed to know. She smiled fondly, her brother still had the worst filter and she was so happy he was here.

 

"I'm going to the village hidden in the leaves to be with them." She said quietly and it felt odd, having just come from there leaving his entire life behind and now she was going to build a short lived one. Finally they pulled away from one another knowing every minute wasted here was another minute she couldn't be with the one person she loved entirely. "We'll have to put together just a small inauguration ceremony, let the villagers know you're back for this reason I'll leave out the Mr. Cry Baby part." A smile spread across her lips as her tired eyes let out more tears, matching her little brothers. Gaara couldn't ever have imaged this, them crying together even in an impending loss.  
"I know I have never said this to you before but I love you." Gaara said softly as he watched her face, fresh tears falling from her eyes as she laughed shaking her head.  
"I have longed to hear those words from you my entire life, little brother." Temari told him as she leaned down and pressed her lips to his forehead. "And I love you, Kazekage." She pulled away, a big grin on her mouth as she went over to her desk, and pointed to all the paper work and glanced at Gaara. "This is all yours, sir. Let me make a call to all villagers we'll get this over with." She shot him a grin before her assistant came into the room, a tall woman who looked so proud Gaara was pretty sure he'd start crying all over again just at the sight.

 

It wasn't long and it wasn't without sorrow that Gaara had become the Kazekage, normally a handshake shared between Kage's if the other still living was a kiss pressed to cheeks and the pale red head blushing as the villagers cheered in his name. He would have to protect this village as he protected his children and as his eyes gazed upon the little ones of the village he knew he could do it, with Kankuro and his sons by his side. They'd make it, he'd make it despite the aching in his chest that longed for someone else to be here with them and the stark resemblance in Misuki's features reminded him of who wasn't here.


	8. Chapter 8

It felt like nothing could get worse until Gaara had seemingly woken up in the early morning and had to rush to find somewhere to throw up. A cold sweat spread across his body and he groaned, he knew what this was. He washed his face and ignored it for the rest of the morning until he ran into his sons, Misuki dragging Shion around on the blanket from his bed before Gaara was arching a brow in question. The blonde grinning widely before Shion started to cry, the little suck up that he was always managed to get his way with any adult in the nearby vicinity. As they walked, Gaara pressed soft kisses to Shion's bed head as he held Misuki's hand he listened to his oldest complain about some of the kids at the academy he'd graduated his exams and had received a sand village headband but still kept the leaf village one in a drawer in his room, for safe keeping he assured when his father had found it. Shion was much too young to go to the academy yet, not starting for another couple of years and he spent his days with the Kazekage in his office doing strenuous paper work and getting slobber everywhere -such is the life of a toddler in the highest form of power in the village. The leaf villages hawk delivered a letter apparently but not from the Hokage as Gaara had expected, no it was from Sakura Haruno. A woman who had been nothing but kind to the red head in his years in the village. He wrapped an arm around Shion as he spread the letter across his desk, the fine script stark against the white paper.

 

_'Dear Kazekage ....Gaara. Your grateful-ness..._

_Kidding, of course. I'm writing this letter to you to invite you to my wedding. I know this is very formal for a wedding invitation but I wanted to be sure you got it. There are other issues I wish to discuss with you but the main part is the wedding. Please send me a letter back confirming you'll come._

_Much love, Sakura Haruno.'_

 

Gaara rolled his eyes before grinning as he rolled up the parchment before setting it aside, he wondered if he should just stay he was very busy with everything and certainly couldn't drop all his very important activities he had to attend. Most importantly being, never returning to the leaf village again. He sighed out at the thought, he loved his friends -former friends whatever they were to him now. Deciding on it as he pulled out a fresh parchment as a quill before Shion pressed his spit soaked little hands to Gaara's stomach.

 

  
"Yes?" Gaara asked quietly smiling down at his son who only stared up at him with a glazed look before laughing at nothing, apparently. "Well that was bizarre, please never do it again." The red head snorted as he started to write out his return letter. He didn't want to seem ungrateful by not attending and he was sure he could leave Kankuro in charge for a few days hopefully everything would be in one piece when he returned. Perhaps he could tell the Hokage of his impending doom in his stomach, a child which would inevitably look like one of them and remind Gaara of one of the last times he even slept with his former ...husband? They weren't technically married, so he wasn't sure what they had been but again they'd be parents at least Gaara would be. There had been no communication with him and Naruto and it hurt the most that he didn't care to even send letters to their sons.

 

"Let's write this quick so we can go visit Kuro." Gaara hummed quietly to Shion, who gurgled happily at the nickname they had for Kankuro who was no doubt out there yelling at 12 year olds or whatever he did. The Kazekage lifted his son up with him and rolled the letter up before bringing it over to the waiting hawk -which would have been terribly awkward if Gaara hadn't written the letter and the hawk just withered away there- before hooking it to his foot and waving him off into the heat of the village hidden in the sand. Through their village it was peaceful and Gaara had no idea when the thread would break and something would go wrong but he was blissfully enjoying this brief happiness.

 

  
"You know, if we visit the leaf we can see Aunt Temari." Gaara whispered pressing a kiss to Shion's chubby cheek as he answered in a few 'da's' as was his forte at his age. "And the little one." Gaara breathed out slowly, Temari and Shikamaru's son had only just been born and his sister was withering away quickly. He knew now he had a chance to see her before the end and to celebrate a new beginning with Sakura and Ino. It'd all be okay, he tried to convince himself as he held a hand to his still flat stomach before he was heading onto the training grounds which were mostly filled with annoyed sounds and profanity. Kankuro spotted Gaara first and went over to his younger brothers side, saluting in respect anyway.

 

"Kazekage." He greeted before turning into mush as he turned upon Shion and reaching for him and lifting him into the air and using that obnoxious baby tone every seemed to have tuned into them. "Hello little dove." The dark skinned man had pressed a kiss to Shion's red hair which was turning more maroon in time just like Gaara's had.  
"Hello Kankuro, I have to talk to you about something important." He hummed quietly with a small smile to assure his brother it wasn't something serious. "I am going to the leaf village I was hoping you would take over my position while I was away and watch the children." He grinned widely, like he never used to at his brother since it usually got him what he wanted as he stood patiently with his hands clasped behind his back in respect.

 

Kankuro looked from Shion to Gaara before he laughed too hard and nodded to his brother. "Of course I'll take care of the village and the boys, running off from duties to too what then little brother?" He asked curiously.

 

"A wedding, Sakura and Ino finally." He breathed out, Kankuro only nodded he didn't have any idea of the leaf villagers relationships or how long (way too long) it took for those two to realize they were meant to be with one another. "And to see Temari." Gaara breathed out quietly with a nod staring at the ground now.

 

"Give her my love." Kankuro whispered reaching a hand out to press against Gaara's shoulder as the younger looked up and nodded with a tight lipped smile. He learnt to press a kiss to Shion's head and then Kankuro's he'd have to leave as soon as possible to get to the village hidden in the leaf on time for the wedding.

 

"I love you." He whispered with his mouth pressed to Shion's head before he smiled at his brother and turned back towards the village's heart. "Behave!" He called out loudly before making his way to meet with Matsuri who had begun accompanying him on trips so he didn't go alone and a medical nin called Usagi who was the most talented in the village. He met up with them before telling them he was going to stop at the academy to tell Misuki he would be back in a few days.

 

**;**

 

The journey was hot and filled with a few too many complains from Usagi before Gaara threatened to exile them once they'd finally left the desert and made it to lush land and trees that provided shelter. Finally they made it to the village hidden in the leaf a day before the wedding was to take place. He smiled as Shikamaru greeted them knowing he'd done this for Gaara's sister many a times. The dark haired man reached a hand out for the other to shake and their was a smile on his mouth that didn't meet his eyes so the red head pulled him into a hug, arms wrapping around him tightly.

 

"I want to see my nephew." Gaara said quietly with a smile before Matsuri and Usagi went off into the village to do their own thing, whatever that happened to be.

 

  
"Of course, he looks like Temari through and through." Shikamaru smiled for real this time as he led Gaara through the village and this time he got no stares. He was led to their house a small thing that looked entirely too homey that Gaara wasn't sure he wanted to ever leave. He entered behind the other man and his sister was there in a bed looking sickly the new born by her side.

 

"Gaara." She breathed out, barely above a whisper shock clearly in her tone.

 

"Hello Kazekage." Gaara smiled fondly as he went to her side and sunk to his knees to hold one of her hands in both of his. "I have come to see you and the little one." He whispered pressing a kiss to her hand before he reached one of his hands to the tiny little thing, dark skin and dark hair and he looked entirely like Shikamaru to Gaara but he figured he was different to everyone. "He is so beautiful." The younger told her with a smile as he felt tears well in his eyes at the image of his sister weak and bed ridden something he knew she loathed.

 

"Help him." Temari whispered once Shikmaru left them alone. Gaara glanced at her confused non existent eyebrows knitted together as he stared at her. "He can't do this on his own and you've done it twice, you're going to do it again aren't you?" She asked with a cheeky grin motioning to Gaara now. He only blushed and pressed his face into the sheets of her bed before pulling back.

 

"How do you know that?" He asked in a whisper as if anyone was listening.

 

"You always have a certain glow." Temari snorted before choking out a cough. And Gaara flinched before holding her hand tighter. Shikamaru was at the door quickly head poking in to check on her. "Gaara would like to talk to you." She said quickly before motioning towards the door. Gaara had no idea what she meant but he went along with it anyway as he nodded and stood up glancing at Temari and the baby once more before he shut the door behind himself coming face to face with Shikamaru who looked at him expectantly.

 

"I'll help you." Gaara said quietly taking the other mans hands into his like he'd done with his sister when he first saw her. "You won't be alone in this I can assure you." He whispered with a smile before the other let out a shaky breath and glanced down before he nodded and wrapped Gaara up in a hug. It was nice despite it being entirely and horribly sad.

 

"Thank you." Shikamaru whispered before the red head pulled away and explained that he was going to find a place to stay for the night a hotel or something of the sort as he told the man to go be with his wife and child. He set off into the village with plans of going in search of a place to stay but instead heading right for the Hokage's office.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> honestly i love gaara and sakura

The village was alive with people as Gaara walked through the large open doors to the Hokage's office. His heart thumped in his chest as he eyed a couple of the guards, people he did not recognize. Gaara had learned if you held your head high enough people didn't question why you were there and he did just that easily passing the guards. The red head still had no idea what he was going to tell Naruto but he pressed the palm of his hand to his growing stomach and knew he could not hide it from the other, despite wanting to see him dead on a couple of occasions. Lee stood by the Hokage's door, his thick brows knitted in confusion as Gaara approached.

 

"Lee." Gaara said quietly with a smile.

 

"What are you doing here Gaara?" Lee asked as he stepped out of the way, he peered into the office as if at Naruto in worry.

 

"Sakura and Ino's wedding of course." The redhead smiled before he side stepped Lee and made his way into the Hokage's office.

 

"How can I help y-" Naruto cut himself off as he turned in his chair and came face to face with Gaara. Gaara smiled as he crossed his arms across his chest.

 

"Hello Hokage." Gaara said quietly staring at Naruto's worn face, eyes trailing down to his arm or lack there of.

 

"What happened?"

 

Naruto still seemed at a loss for words before he glanced down and sighed. "The Atkatski came back." He said quietly not even bothering to ask why Gaara was here because it definitely wasn't to make small talk with the Hokage. The redhead nodded before uncrossing his arms and setting them on Narutos desk. "Sasuke left again." Naruto said sadly but he didn't look surprised as he spoke of it.

 

"I'm not surprised." Gaara muttered with a shrug, not in the mood to be sincere for this man. "I returned for Sakura and Ino and for my sister and Shikamaru. Not for you but I have to tell you we're having another child." He said slowly in case Naruto didn't understand, which he usually didn't. "But I don't want to be with you and I don't want you to pursue me just because Sasuke left."

 

"You're sure?" Naruto asked because of course he would. Gaara only grit his teeth and pulled back his robes the first time he'd actually shown anyone.

 

"I'm positive." He said quietly before letting his robes fall back into place.

 

"And I can assure you, before you ask no I didn't sleep with anyone else." Gaara sighed after that feeling like a weight was lifted from his shoulders as he pulled his hands back deciding that was all he wanted to say to the Hokage.

 

"Wait." Naruto said as he got up. "You can't just leave." "I'm the Kazekage of course I can." Gaara watched as Naruto came around the desk. Naruto reached out for Gaara's robes.

 

"Don't touch me. You don't care for the children you already have do not pretend now." The redhead stared before he stepped back head tilted in confusion.

 

"It's not that I don't care." Naruto started and Gaara laughed. "Please don't feed me your lies, I'll see you at the wedding." Gaara murmured before he quickly turned to leave not looking back or answering Naruto's calls to him. He needed food and rest if he was going to get through the day tomorrow.

 

**;;**

 

The next morning Gaara was up early getting dressed in specially picked ceremonial robes he went down to a small shop for some morning tea. The Kazekage wasn't paying attention when someone sat down with him, he glanced up and smile confused when Sakura was sat across from him.

 

"You should be getting ready shouldn't you?" Gaara asked as he slid his cup of tea over for her to take a drink, which she did careful to bring the cup to her lips before she laughed quietly.

 

"Not all of us take hours Gaara." She smiled tilting her head, pink strands fall to the side. "I just wanted to see you and ask how you were and also thanks for coming." Sakura breathed out in a rush before smiling widely. She'd changed so much and Gaara knew he had too and it was bizarre to think about them sitting down like this.

 

"Not what I meant." Gaara grinned over as he took the cup of tea back. "Scared?"

 

"No, I've been with Ino for so long. This is just an excuse for a party." She smiled as she watched the other.

 

"How're the boys?"

 

"They're good, Misuki is doing so well in his training and Shion is starting to walk." Gaara murmured the usual things he said whenever someone asked.

 

"But how are they?" Sakura asked quietly, running a hand through her hair.

 

"Misuki is angry all the time it's so scary I'm so worried he'll end up like I did." Gaara said quietly glancing at the table top. "Shion cries for Naruto sometimes I don't know what to do, especially since I'll be bringing another one into this world."

 

"What?" Sakura asked before Gaara sighed out.

 

"Pregnant, again. It's his." The redhead rolled his eyes. It couldn't possibly get worse than this he knew that and having to say it out loud sounded even more embarrassing.

 

"Gaara." Sakura scolded quietly before Gaara frowned at her.

 

"I know Sakura." He sighed before she laughed loudly and drank the rest of his tea.

 

**;;**

 

The ceremony was beautiful and filled with flowers like the first thing the two women bonded over and Gaara tried not to cry but the hormones in his body weren't right and he was alone and had to get weepy and thankfully Hinata and Neji were on either side of him and he was able to cry on each of their shoulders respectively.

 

There was a small party after and everyone wanted to touch Gaara's stomach and he only allowed them if they brought him food. He sat in a chair near the river than ran through town and allowed everyone to feed him and touch his expanding stomach. He was satisfied with that before he got up to kiss each of the brides, their daughter smiling up at him as he wandered off back into town where the inn was. He stopped short on a bench, frowning to himself at the thought of his future with his sons and the little one on the way.

 

Later that night he sat in a borrowed bed at his sisters house, they cleared out the babies room so Gaara didn't have to spend the night alone. He couldn't sleep and made his way through the house and found Shikamaru up with the baby pressed to his chest as he sat at the table, Gaara sat across from him and smiled softly.

 

"I'm terrified." Shikamaru admitted. Gaara dropped a hand to his belly and nodded in agreement.

 

"So am I. You could come back to Suna with me." Gaara said quietly thinking about what his sister had said about helping Shikamaru.

 

"Temari wants me to." Shikamaru said quietly, hand patting the babies back.

 

"You don't have to decide now." The redhead murmured quietly before there was a knock at the door, it was way too late to be anything sensible and Shikamaru seemed to agree when he handed the baby over to Gaara and went to answer the door. Gaara stared down at the baby, a tiny little thing and he felt tears well up in his eyes at the thought of doing it all over again but doing it alone. Memories of all the times he'd messed up with Naruto by his side to help flooded his mind and he couldn't stop himself from crying.

 

"It's for you." Shikamaru coughed awkwardly at the sight of Gaara crying before he took the baby back and Gaara wiped his eyes to see who it was. There in the open doorway stood the last person he ever thought he'd see.

 

_Sasuke Uchiha._


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive returned to this story, the ending was rushed and made no sense  
> does it make more sense now? let us hope and pray  
> im probably going to go through each chapter and rewrite it  
> i used the word as a lot throughout this and sentence structure is wack  
> xoxo

"I haven't even the slightest idea why you thought this was a good idea other than the fact I am pregnant and cannot kill you." Gaara muttered, his blood boiling under the surface as he stared at the raven haired man stood in front of him. Sasuke said nothing for a moment before smiling at Gaara. 

"I didn't come here to fight you, I came here to talk to you." Sasuke said quietly, Gaara only dropped his gaze to the clothes the other wore. Akatsuki. "Naruto is so deluded he believed the child was his. He tried to fight me when I left and I had to severe his arm." 

Gaara stared blankly. "Bugs are getting in the house, can we cut this conversation short?" 

"He needs you, he's so much more pathetic." Sasuke kept talking and Gaara wondered what this was supposed to be. Was he supposed to easily pity Naruto simply because Sasuke put him down. It didn't have the effect Gaara imagined the other might have believed it to. 

"I'm no one's second choice, now if you'll excuse me." Gaara muttered as he quickly shut the door in Sasuke's face if there was one person the redhead had wanted to see less than Naruto it was Sasuke. Why did the two of them seem so intent on remaining in his life? Naruto, he understood their children would connect them for the rest of their lies but Sasuke? It made no sense. The conversation only confused him further, he could make no sense of why Sasuke was advocating for Naruto. Gaara sighed and Shikamaru spoke up finally from the kitchen. The redhead really had nearly forgotten his presence.

"What did he want?" Shikamaru asked as Gaara slipped back into the kitchen and eyed the tea on the kitchen table, he slowly sat down and wrapped his hands around it. That was a good question, what really what that entire charade? An Akatsuki member coming to his house, advocating for the man who simply shaped Gaara into someone so guarded. 

"To try and convince me to take Naruto back?" He said in disbelief as he brought the cup to his lips. His voice sounded like it didn't belong to him. 

"Do you think you should?" Shikamaru asked quietly. 

"Of course not."

What kind of question was that? There was no way Gaara would ever stoop so low. 

;;

Eventually Gaara had to return back to the Land of Wind and he was greeted happily by his people, though the land had been peaceful for many years now, the people still looked to Gaara for protection in any case. A meeting was held with the elders where Gaara told his advisers he would be giving temporary title to Kankuro while he had his third child. It was an easy decision to make and Gaara was still available to advise. He knew a ruler had to be stern and understand and he was anything but near childbirth. 

"Daddy." Shion mouthed at Gaara's cheek as he pulled at his father's hair. Gaara could only smile as he pulled his sons hand from his hair and kissed his face. He had a lot of time now to spend with his sons, showing them special places in the village he used to play alone as a child. Never would he allow for them to be alone, it's nearly half the reason he gave them siblings. 

"Look Shion." Misuki waved wildly at his younger brother who Gaara set on the ground to waddle over to him. Gaara had taken them both to the only source of water in their village and Misuki loved it, fingers dipping into the water as he held onto Shion and let him touch. The redhead smiled at the two of them as he watched by the riverside. Gaara got down beside them reaching out for Shion as he watched the toddler sweat he pushed his hair from his forehead and cupped some water in his hand. 

"Here my love." Gaara said quietly as he tilted the babies head back and Misuki did the same for himself. "We should get back home you two need to eat and the sun is much to hot, even for my desert flowers." 

"So do you dad." Misuki said sternly as they got up. There was always an overconfident yet overprotective aura to his eldest son, a trait no doubt in inherited by his father. 

;;

"Kazekage." One of the advisers came to his room. Gaara smiled at them and nodded. "We received a letter from Shikamaru Nara." 

Gaara felt his heart start to pound as he took a deep breath and held his hand out. 

"Kankuro wants to see you." They said quickly and Gaara passed them, checking on the boys in their room to see them playing Misuki trying to teach Shion hand signs. He opened the door to Kankuro's office and for the first time Gaara watched his brother cry. 

"No." Gaara simply said as he shut the door behind him. Kankuro wiped at his eyes and pushed the parchment across his desk. Gaara quickly crossed the room and let his thick rimmed eyes trail over the paper. The writing messy and the redhead knew what it was. 

Temari was gone. 

"What do we do?" Kankuro asked glancing up at Gaara. The youngest sand sibling stared down at his brother and sighed out slowly, why was is his decision? He was the youngest. He never had a single clue what he was doing, evidence formed in his middle obviously for all to see. But orders? Acts of sorrow, Gaara could do easily. 

"We go to the Leaf and we bury our sister." 

;;

The journey was hard with two little ones and being pregnant it was cause for a lot of snapping at Kankuro that Gaara continued to apologize for even as they approached the gates to the Leaf village. Shikamaru was there waiting he felt like family to Gaara at least and Mizuki was excited to see him and he ran quickly to hug his waist. Kankuro only nodded as he held Shion in his arms and Gaara pulled the other into a hug with Misuki pressed between them. 

"Where is the little one?" Gaara asked quietly as he pulled away. 

"Sakura and Ino are watching him." Shikamaru said smiling down at Misuki. "Let's go to the house the preparations are in Hinata and the Hokage's hands but they wanted both of you, and I there. I thought we could bring the boys to Sakura's while we prepare." 

"Poor Sakura and Ino, all of us dumping our children on them. Let's do it." Gaara smiled as they continued to walk through the village. It was a miserable time but Gaara knew his sister wasn't truly gone, she would always be there with him and it comforted him when all he wanted to do was break down. Pregnancy made someone vulnerable, of course. The walk through the village brought an onslaught of memories he'd formed here in his youth. The very first time he met Naruto, all glared expression and spat words not even to him. He had ignored the blonde and focused his attention on Sasuke. How funny life would turn out for him. Gaara couldn't help but glance up at that specific tree, how different would their lives be had he not decided to be a little sand rat? The redhead couldn't help but glance down and shake his head at his own thought. He wouldn't give this up for anything. Gaara felt himself get choked up at the sight around him, his eldest son and his closest friend hand in hand, his tiny Shion held by his eldest brother, and him. The sound of a squeaky sliding door tore him from his thoughts and he smiled as the small group approached Sakura and Ino's home. 

"Hey." The pink haired woman smiled sadly as she opened the door, Ino stood just behind her with the baby pressed to her chest. Their own daughter smiling as she pulled at Misuki a former classmate of hers and Gaara felt a little better at the thought. Kankuro passed Shion over easily and Sakura eyed Gaara with a smile. "We'll see you three later. Try to stay strong." Of course Sakura would be the one to deliver the pep talk, hadn't she always tried to be? Now, thankfully Gaara found it extremely endearing. 

The three men walked in silence to the Hokage's office. 

;;

"We're sorry about the circumstances for which you are here." Naruto said once they'd all stood in silence for much too long. Gaara only nodded before the Hokage spoke again. It was at that moment Gaara wondered briefly why they hadn't just taken his sisters body back to the Sand Village. Once again he had to tear himself from petty feelings, Temari would want to be here. "There are a few arrangements you need to make." 

They worked in quiet murmurs, Gaara moving slowly as Shikamaru and Hinata decided on flowers. He caught Naruto's gaze on him and finally motioned for the blonde to follow him as he slipped out of the door with as much subtlety a pregnant person could have. His heart pounded so loudly in his ears he wondered if he would even be able to hear himself speak. 

"Sasuke told me what he did." Gaara stared at he glanced at Naruto's shoulder. Kind of a hard thing not to notice. "He was in the village and you hadn't a clue did you?" 

Naruto looked surprised and that was his answer. Gaara couldn't help the annoyed feeling that bubbled in his chest, here he was, the leader of the Leaf Village and father of his children so easily stooped by an Uchiha. 

"You left me for him and he cut your arm off." Gaara deadpanned as he arched a non existent brow at the blonde. 

"I made a mistake." Naruto said quietly. A mistake? Was that really all he was going to say? 

"Now is not the time for you to make that decision, my sister is dead." Gaara snapped as he shook his head and turned back into the room and wondered why he ever tried to speak to Naruto in the first place he'd blame it on his pregnant brain. 

;;

The ceremony was sad but not unexpected and Gaara, Kankuro and, Shikamaru sat in front alongside the Hokage and Sakura their small children on their laps. Misuki kept eyeing Naruto and would frown deeply at him while Shion would reach out for him. Misuki had seen far too much of his father's pain not to hold a grudge. Gaara finally relented and handed the baby over and Misuki frowned as he turned his head forward, all stoic and grace Gaara knew he had formed all on his own. Gaara glanced over at Ai, Temari's son in Shikamaru's arms and reached a hand to smooth out the baby's furrowed brow as he cried. Perhaps he could feel what everyone could. 

"Your name means love and you are so loved." Gaara whispered to the baby as he pulled his hand away. Shikamaru kept a stoned look on his face as Kankuro spoke. They each carried roses to the coffin and laid them down carefully. Gaara stood with Misuki as they dropped the roses. "Come here my love." Gaara said quietly grabbing Misuki's hand, usually he would push his father away embarrassed but he held onto his hand tightly. People started to leave then and Gaara, Kankuro and, Shikamaru stayed. Gaara took Ai into his arms as Shikamaru carried Misuki on his back when they finally decided to trek back to Shikamaru's home. 

"I'll make us tea." Kankuro murmured quietly as he set a sleeping Shion down on the couch before heading into the kitchen. Gaara sighed out as he rubbed Ai's back and watched as Shikamaru did the same with Misuki setting him on the couch next to his brother. 

"You can put him down." Shikamaru murmured rubbing a hand across his brow. 

"Babies need touch. I'm fine." Gaara smiled as he nodded towards the kitchen and sat at the table, carefully balancing the baby in his arms as he felt the one inside of him kick. Instead of bringing him joy it only brought back memories of the first two times he felt his boys kick and Naruto was there and he beamed as he felt them. Now he was doing it alone and he quickly moved his hand from his stomach. Guilt wracked his bones, he couldn't despise his own child. Gaara wouldn't. 

"Here." Kankuro said quietly as he set the tea down in front of them before sitting across from Shikamaru. The silence quickly settled over the room before Ai's screams filled it. Shikamaru automatically reached out for Ai and Gaara handed the baby over before getting up. Something urged him to go, he would want to be alone with his children at a time like this. 

"I'm going for a walk I'll be back before dark." The redhead smiled. "Kankuro look after the boys." He stared at his brother before he went to kiss his sons heads and left the house. His heart felt heavy and he pretended he didn't have a destination but his feet carried him to the Hokage's office. Gaara knocked on the door three times as he waited, a hand pressed to his belly as the door opened. Something had to be done, at least a truce. 

"Are you okay?" Naruto asked after he'd opened the door and Gaara was stood on the other side. "Is it the boys?" The panicked tone made Gaara's heart hurt more. Why did this have to be the man with so many sides to him? So many that Gaara rarely saw. 

"No, it's me." He whispered filling the space between them and pressing his head into Naruto's neck, tears welling in his eyes. It burned his skin to be this vulnerable and in front of Naruto of all people. The man who seemed so intent on destroying him. Maybe Gaara could understand Naruto's selfish desires if he stopped thinking with his heart, his brain understood entirely sadly it didn't translate well between them. 

"What's wrong?" The blonde asked careful in his movements as he wrapped his hand around Gaara's bicep, holing him still but careful not to overstep. "Is the baby alright?" 

"They're fine they kicked and you weren't there. I realized I'm alone and I'll have three kids to take care of." The redhead cried. He hated that his emotions were so entirely obvious and he hadn't even tried to hide them. "You ruined everything for us and here I am like a wounded animal. Pathetic and still I run to you. You're still the father of my children even if you're absent, and they still need you." 

Naruto breathed in sharply wrapping his arm tightly around Gaara's shoulder, it wasn't comforting but it kept him close. "They're mine." It was in such a fierce tone Gaara tensed. Why had he said that? Teal eyes opened and glistened with tears, why was this so difficult? 

"You speak of them so fiercely but you are never there for them." Gaara spat as he pulled away. He could feel his anger coming to a peak. "You have chosen other's over them time and time again. I do not care that you left me, I'll survive we are only linked by them. You do nothing but make them angry, you do nothing but make Misuki know how to hold a grudge at such a young age. Does that not remind you of someone? Tell me that is not a pattern of someone we both know." 

"Misuki is nothing like that." Naruto said quietly as he shook his head, a look of distaste painted his features. "He'll never be like that."

"He IS like that. Our son is so angry and all you have to do it make it up to him. " Gaara asked staring at the blonde with watery vision. Their arguments almost always never made sense to Gaara. He always seemed to be fighting so hard while Naruto had other plans, other ways out of the discussion. Misuki was like that, Naruto just hadn't been around to see it. "Oh great Hokago, the greatest shinobi the Leaf has to offer and what are you? A pathetic excuse for a father."

"I know. I know what I have done. What's the phrase, 'you made your bed now lie in it?" The Hokage questioned, an eyebrow arched as if this were some sort of game. They were not children and this wasn't a competition. They were two grown adults with children between them and yet all they could do was argue. Gaara only stared at him in disbelief a kick of distress came from inside him and he tried his best not to flinch. All the redhead wanted to do was reach out and shake some sense into the other. What was he thinking? Was was so much more important than his children? Was is it his pride? Was he embarrassed that predictably Sasuke was still a liar after all and did nothing but make him look a fool. 

"You are hearing yourself speak aren't you? This is not a bed to lie in, you need to open your eyes and be there for your children." Gaara breathed out slowly. He could not let his anger get the best of him, it wasn't good for the little one inside him. "You need to pick yourself up and stop being so selfish. They need you and they don't ask for anything! They just want their father in their lives and you're too busy licking your wounds and guarding your bruised pride. You were Uchiha's puppet, you realize that right? You gave up everything we'd built to being a fucking pawn in someone's game. You fell for it, and now you have to live with it. You turned your back on all of us. You chose him and it was the wrong choice. But life goes on and you need to as well. Grow up." 

All of the anger he'd ever felt towards Naruto seemed to dissipate. All he could feel was exhaustion. That's all this had been. Finally as his anger simmered and he stared at the man in front of him, a man he had imagined sharing life times, he could only feel pity. Man's pride was not such a solid thing, though Gaara had known that all his life. After a small sigh he slowly reached out and pressed a hand to Naruto's shoulder, "You made a choice, the wrong one. But you can make it right with our children. You just have to try."

Gaara left that night feeling lighter than when he arrived, something had lifted from his soul that had been running him ragged for all these years. He was good enough, he was more than that. The redhead had nearly (with the help of some friends) raised his sons on his own. He'd ruled a land and didn't let his pride get in the way as he admitted his short comings and handed the role of Kazekage to Kankuro. The papers said temporary but Gaara knew in his heart his place was with his children, not ruling nations of sand. 

;;

The next morning felt the same with one small difference, Gaara didn't find himself thinking of past memories as he passed through the Leaf, he thought of ones that were forming now. His sons playing, Shikamaru rebuilding his life with everyone's help, and Kankuro leaving to return to the Sand. As they said their goodbyes something in Kankuro's tone sounded like he knew Gaara would be staying in the leaf for good. 

"Where's Misuki?" Shikamaru asked suddenly as the two men watched their infants play on the grass, Ai mostly laid there while Shion picked pieces of grass and settled them on the babies chubby legs. Gaara had accused Shikamaru of trying to kill Shion's creative soul when he swept the grass off of him. 

"Probably at Sakura's." He commented with a shrug. Misuki loved to run around the village, he was a social butterfly and Gaara couldn't stop him even if he wanted to. "You know how he is, he likes to intrude on anyone's home and feel welcome. It's part of his charm." Gaara wouldn't mention how he was exactly like a certain blonde haired shinobi.

"Well he can't only be like you." The other commented then quietly. He was right and Gaara didn't hold a grudge about it. 

"Yesterday I went to see him. I told him he needed to be there for the boys, for them." The redhead glanced down at his stomach before he peered at Shikamaru as if looking for some word of advice. Of course he delivered.

"What I've learned quickly in this life is that we should award second chances. I'm not saying forgive him and be with him. I know what Naruto has done to you is cruel but it's not just about you two anymore, it hasn't been for a long time. It's about them." For the boys sake, they'll need him. You are the most important person to them but don't let your pride get in the way. 

;;

Later that evening Gaara found himself without a destination in mind, Shion shakily walked alongside him, his fingers grasped into his robes as the pair walked along the street. His mind continued to linger to the conversation he had with Naruto, how he left without a concrete answer. It was left open ended and Gaara didn't know if anything would change. His attention was brought back to the present when Misuki came sprinting towards him, his cheeks flushed and his mouth open. Gaara stared confused as his song laughed, so much he began to cough. 

"Who are you and where did you put my son?" Gaara asked with a curious smile as he reached out to steady his son whose chest heaved as he took in air. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a flash of orange. Of course. With a small sigh he simply shook his head before he tilted it to the side, "I'm assuming the culprit of this sudden outburst really enjoys the colour orange?" 

At the question Misuki got awfully quiet and looked somewhat guilty which had Gaara confused. "Don't be mad." He started before he took a long exhale and spoke, "Dad came to me. I yelled at him! I really did tell him off but then I felt bad because he's the Hokage. The big guy in charge and I couldn't yell at him. He promised me he wouldn't go away again. He would let me and Shion and the baby again. I believe him, I don't know if I should have." 

Slowly and ungracefully Gaara got to his knees in front of Misuki a small smile on his lips as he reached without looking to grab onto the back of Shion's shirt. Nothing like single parenting to make you really have eyes all over the place. "You do not need to apologize to me for anything. He is your father after all and you share many traits with him. The good ones of course. You are his son and he will always be your father, it's best to be together isn't it? I think he's going to do great this time. I think you're very smart to trust him." There was no need to harbor bad blood. Gaara knew what he had to do to be a good parent. 

Finally he looked up and Naruto approached slowly on foot, as if he hadn't just been sprinting. "Teaching our son to run through the village like you once did? Going to teach him to spray paint the Hokage's faces next?" It hurt but the feeling dissipated as he watched Misuki smile shyly at the Hokage. "No matter how wise the Hokage may seem he is still your father who eats far too much sodium." 

'Thank you' Naruto had mouthed as he stood close enough to hold an arm out for the redhead to take. He unceremoniously pulled himself upright and tugged Shion closer to him. With a fond smile he watch his own blonde teeter over to Naruto, fingers clutches in his pant leg. "Maybe I'll teach Shion to spray paint the Hokage's faces huh?" He questioned as he crouched down with ease, hands pressed softly to the infants torso to hold him steady, "Misuki can have the tormenting the villagers thing." Gaara sighed loudly but he couldn't help but grin when Naruto shot that stupid, toothy grin his way. It wasn't perfect and maybe they never would be again but this was something. Mutual respect and consideration was a good first step. 

"Can't we just let our children make their own mistakes? Repeating yours just seems so unoriginal." Gaara groaned before he felt Misuki press to his side. "Be sure to come up with your own, remember you're half Sand. We're much more badass than any Leaf ninja ever could be." For the first time in a long time, Gaara mirrored the wide smile Naruto shone his way. 

;;

Temari Uzamaki was born on the hottest day in August. She was all pink faced and angry looking, which Gaara understood as he held her to his chest. Naruto had been by his side, they were just friends. Friends who had three kids together. "She's beautiful just like her." Naruto had commeted dumbly, he was dumb all the time but particularly dumb looking when he witnessed his children being born. All doe eyed and wide grins and Gaara (who was exhausted and easily influenced) could only let a few tears run down his cheeks at the comment. If he were in a right state of mind he'd swat at Naruto and tell him not to force the identity of his sister on their daughter. Instead he laughed breathlessly at the kiss the blonde had pressed to his head. 

;;

"We've done this before it shouldn't be so hard." Gaara commented offhandedly as he stood in the Hokage's office with little Temari on his hip before he crouched down and set her onto shaky legs. She'd begun to look like Naruto, 'she looks like the photographs I have of my mother' the blonde would comment. It made Gaara feel proud, to know his daughter was named after his sister and looked much like the woman he'd learned so much about. 

"I don't know why it's so hard, we have done this before." Naruto agreed quickly through baited breath, "She's our little girl. She could get hurt." 

There was nothing so difficult as letting your kid go for the first time. Albeit she would only be going a meter between them but still, she was their baby and both men felt nervous. They'd gone through it with two rough and tumble boys but this was their precious dove. Yeah right she ripped their hair out any chance she could get. 

"Come on sweet girl, go to daddy. Look at him, he's got your favourite treat! Riceballs!" Gaara cheered her on before he finally took his hands off of her. Temari squealed with joy as she walked on chubby legs, equally chubby arms waved in the air as he stumbled towards Naruto."I can't look. Oh my god." 

"She's okay! What a good girl you are, look at you. Come here daddy is going to catch you if anything happens." Naruto assured, as if their daughter cared. She had two older brothers and a mind of her own. They both knew she would be fine but still, this was a big step. "That's my good girl, come on you're almost here." 

Gaara pulled his hands away from his eyes as he watched her finally stumble into her father's chest, a loud sigh escaped him as he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. "Look at our daughter. I cannot believe she is going to grow up and be the best female shinobi who's ever lived. Ever." 

;;

Co-parenting wasn't always easy. Especially for two people who knew exactly all the right buttons to push to get a reaction. Thankfully Gaara and Naruto only did it in jest. They never let it get too far. Always talked it out before it got to a boiling point. 

"You know I never thought this-" Gaara spoke as he motioned between himself and Naruto, "-would ever be a thing. I never thought we'd be able to stomach one another ever again." 

"I was an idiot for so long. I'm surprised you even let me." Naruto murmured as he glanced to where their children played. Misuki was finally old enough now to start training to be part of the ANBU. It made Gaara weary but he knew he had to let his little dove fly, even if he felt like he was still a baby himself. "I guess our kids just made you soft." 

"Don't say something stupid. I'm not soft. Our kids made me smart, there's a different." He pointed out as he watched Shion from the corner of his eye. "We might not be together romantically but we're together. I think a part of us will always be. Even when the kids are grown up and we're old." 

"You're right. We'll always be it for each other I think." Naruto nodded as he spoke. "You'll always be it for me."

Once upon a time Gaara would have laughed at such a sentiment. Him being the only one for Naruto Uzamaki? No way. Now as he watched their children it didn't seem so far fetched. "You've always been it for me. Always will." 


	11. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guessed it, i still havent watched past gaaras arch in like episode 50  
> but here i am suddenly inspired for an epilogue  
> i rewrote the last chapter in case you didnt know  
> xoxo

The first day of school was always hectic in the Uzamaki household, lots of tantrums courtesy of Gaara's lineage passed down to each of his children. Shion Uzamaki was finally going to start at the Academy and his parents couldn't be more proud. With their first born already off on missions the first day of the academy made them feel much older than need be. It also made Naruto extremely weepy but his office was right next to the Academy, there really was no need to cry Gaara assured him constantly as he would pat the blonde on the back while making faces to their youngest. At least it made her giggle and that was all he wanted. 

"Do you think I'll be as good as Misuki in Ninjutsu?" Shion asked quietly. The redhead was much more like Gaara in the sense he observed and then acted, unlike Misuki who was exactly like Naruto had been and would run head first into danger. Something his parents could no longer scold him about now that he went out on 'official missions dad, I know what I'm doing' Naruto would question if they had to find old ladies cats which earned him a smack from Gaara from across the table.

"Don't strive to be like your brother. You can train to be whatever you want. You'll be great at whatever you choose my love." Gaara smiled fondly at his son before Naruto cut in, "But don't be afraid to knock your brother down a peg or too. He thinks he's better than us." The blonde motioned between himself and Gaara. The redhead shot the blonde a look that told him to shut up. He needn't have competition with his own son. But of course they were both stubborn and Uzamaki's so the Sand ninja wasn't exactly surprised at either of them. Naruto even pulled the Hokage card a few times when they would finally all be home for dinner. Misuki would simply reply with a sly smile that was all Gaara and tell him, " _You're Hokage for now, Old man._ " 

"Great life lesson to teach our middle child." Gaara deadpanned as he pressed his mug of coffee to his lips. For some reason simply calling their kids by their birth order had stuck and Gaara often used the names to bug them when they reminded him he'd given them names for a reason. "Don't set him up for premature competition between him and his brother. It'll be you both against Misuki. Just because he's becoming one of the villages strongest. We should be proud of our Misuki. Besides Shion you're going to be good in Genjutsu so your sister can be good in Taijutsu so your father and I can have a triple threat." 

"You're so smart." Naruto murmured as he glanced outside. The site of villagers bringing their own towards the academy had him shoot up in his seat. Shion simply stared between his parents and tried his best not to roll his eyes. They'd given him life after all, the least he could do was not mock them, but they made it so easy. Especially with the way they bickered all the time. Their relationship wasn't like other parents but Shion had never known any other way. They all lived in the same house, just his parents didn't share a bedroom. They weren't affectionate like other parents but they took care of each other. Gaara always made Naruto ramen and Naruto always made Gaara coffee. It was different but he could feel the love and respect between them, more than could be said about other couples he'd seen. It was different but it was right. 

"Think we should head to the Academy? The Hokage can't be late." Gaara teased as he stood up. Something about this day always made him equal parts nervous and excited, he had never even gone to the Academy in the Leaf village. His training had been completely different and he knew his son would be cared for and trained hard, it made him excited to see the type of ninja his son would become. Logically speaking Shion wasn't the most physical person, he had a lithe form and Gaara had seen his mind shine more than his brawn. Naruto told him not to assume and let the cards fall as they may, Gaara called him an idiot. 

Shion was already out the door before Gaara or Naruto could even blink. Their red flame of a son already ready to show off his talent, or what Misuki had taught him whenever he came home. Their daughter who followed Shion everywhere was after him before Naruto could get to the door. "You really need to reign in your kids, people will think they're rowdy." Gaara accused with a small smirk as he pushed himself up from the table and to Naruto's side. "People will think we're bad parents." The redhead gasped scandalously as he nudged the blonde's shoulder with his own. Naruto couldn't help but grin, he was so grateful to have Gaara by his side in any capacity. 

"My kids whenever they step slightly out of line." Naruto laughed softly as he rolled his eyes and the pair stepped through their open door, Naruto quickly shutting it behind them. Gaara's gaze was on their kids in a second, always a hawk when it came to their children. Naruto always admired how protective he was of their kin, though sometimes it was scary the way Gaara was ready to go to war over childhood scuffles. Naruto had to talk him down from going to other's parent's homes and giving them a piece of his mind whenever his kid came home with a scratch. Naruto couldn't help but the pang of guilt he sometimes felt when he thought of the reason why Gaara was so protective of them, the worst time of Naruto's life when he let his pride get in the way. Gaara had been alone with their older children on his own and was the sole protector of them. Naruto would spend the rest of his life making it up to them. 

"Of course they inherited all my good qualities." Gaara spoke slowly as if it were fact. He turned his head away from their children and looked over at Naruto. "I'm going to Shikamaru's with Temari after we drop Shion off. Do you have a busy day? Ai would love to see you. Shikamaru is going through one of his episodes again so I might spent the day there." Episode was code for days he couldn't get out of bed because he missed the mother of his child, he was a widow and he had confided in Gaara that he would die that way. Such things worried the redhead so he promised to bring Temari over to see her uncle and cousin for a visit. 

"I might be able to stop by. At least send a hawk with a message for little Ai at least." Gaara let out a small laugh as he shook his head, "Stop abusing your power. Those hawks are for military messages." 

Nearing the Academy it seemed the entire village had gathered and Naruto and Gaara were just one set of happy parents to wish their child off that day. Both men squatted down in front of their son, Temari hanging off of Naruto's shoulders as they spoke confidently to their son. "You're going to do great, just try your best and everything will work out in the end. Believe it." 

Gaara had let out possibly the loudest sigh of his life and reached a hand over to cover Naruto's mouth, "Just have fun. Your dad is only the Hokage of our village because he's the least cool person alive. Don't be cocky but don't underestimate yourself." 

As their son walked off towards the Academy gates and Temari ran over to the old swing still tied to the tree, Naruto nudged Gaara much like before but the redhead spoke first, "They're great. Our kids are great." He turned fully to face Naruto and grinned then. The blonde shot one last glance to their daughter on the swing he'd sat so many years, she looked so happy. No where near the loneliness he'd felt on that very swing. Slowly he turned to the redhead and nodded in agreement before he lifted his hand up to rest on Gaara's cheek. 

"You did a great job." 


End file.
